In life we fall , we brake and we for the most part get back up .
But sometimes even though we stand back up we carry a little piece of that with us , the sadness , the sorrow and the heartache of our decisions and the ones that people make around us and that we can't change .
In my life I have spent a lot of time being a people pleaser and a door mat and getting frustrated when it turned out the same but I learnt " if you always do what you've always done , you'll always get what you always got " .
So in the last few weeks I have started doing things for me , living one day at a time and trying not to let the imperfections of others bring me down , it's not easy and sometimes I make a slip up and get grumpy , but looking ahead at the bigger pictures makes me so incredibly happy .
In my life I have thought that I didn't deserve happiness because of my past and the choices that I made , I spent so much of my energy trying to make other people happy or sabotaging my own happiness along the way .
But a funny thing happened lately , I let my guard down for the first time in a very long time , completely down , I just let myself be and feel , I didn't think about my past or about the mistakes I made , nor about how I didn't deserve to be happy , I just lived in the moment .
For the first time in my life I saw something I wanted and I went after it , kind of an odd feeling but I can at least say now that I have no regrets , for the first time in my life I can say that I finally feel free , like my past hasn't defined me or will keep me from the things that I want ... and don't worry my list is already long .
I feel so blessed to have the friends that I do and the support that I do , I feel even more blessed to know that I have a father in heaven who never feels ashamed of me and who will have enough love to get me through even my darkest day and I feel so grateful that I know what my future is capable of and that there is no limit to the happiness I can and will have .
XOXO Katelyn
